We Can Handle It Side By Side
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–by Alicia Vela
Finding community in a new city can be hard, it seems like all around you people have community and you are trying to jump in and join theirs. It takes energy that sometimes you just don’t have. It’s easier to simply maintain the community you have had for years with people that live far away, for me at least.
Even though they are scattered around North America and it requires a bit of planning, the conversations are easy, they know me and we have inside jokes. They are comfortable. These comfortable relationships seem to fuel me. They remind me of who I am, who God created me to be and therefore, why I am here – in Seminary, struggling to learn Greek. Then I start to think, I’ve learned a lot about how to have good long distant friendships, I could get by on that alone.
But I can’t. I know it is important for me to find people to live life with here in Chicago. We are created to live in community and while you can have community long-distance, I think it was meant as more a physical aspect of your life. It’s meant to be something you experience with people in your area. So we have to step out of our comfort zone and into the unknown in order to meet people who someday may become our new comfortable. And someday you’ll look back and you won’t be able to remember how you met them or where you first became friends.
I was recently with a group of students who were struggling through the issue of community. They were starting a new chapter in life and learning hard lessons on what it meant to be a community of believers that support each other despite their differences. I got to walk alongside of them as they tried to find a balance between their comfortable friendships and the new friendships that were scary and hard. The truth is that it is hard to break out of the mold and try to care for people that are different than us and who maybe see the world differently than us. I watched these students as they realized that being followers of Christ means rising above the pettiness of the world and opening their hearts and minds to people that were different from them.
I think back to that moment with them a lot. I remember how it was like a light was turned on for them, a concept that they have known all their lives (love others they way you want to be loved) suddenly illuminated for them. It was a beautiful moment to witness. Sometimes, finding community means putting aside our preconceived notions of people and allowing the love of Christ to take over. It’s an extremely hard to do and yet the result is community that is life giving and God pleasing.
It is so essential to have community in your life. Community can come from your youth ministry, yes, but also it is important to have a community outside of your ministry. To have friends that you call your own that have little or no connection to your students. A place where you can go to be loved and refueled by people who care about you as a person. We crave community for a reason, we were designed for it. I firmly believe that if we are a part of a community where we live life together honestly and vulnerably, we are better at helping students create community themselves. How do you teach something you don’t know?
Once you’ve experienced good community, you realize the importance of it. You realize that while it was hard, it was rewarding. What if we instilled that in students? What if we were able to teach them how to create community where everyone is welcome? What if our youth groups were actually places where anyone and everyone can feel like an important part of the group?
Do you have that kind of community in your life? One where you feel accepted and loved for who God created you to be? One that required you to take risks to grow? And if so, are you passing that sense of community on to your students?
