working together to navigate youth ministry well through relationships—where every teenager matters…….

- by Amanda Kingry

I left 11 years of youth ministry tired. Yes I was exhausted from the years of Junior High lock-ins, sleeping on cement floors in South America, and the late night phone calls. Looking back,  I wouldn’t trade a minute of those moments, but the result was exhaustion. I knew my body was tired, I knew my family was tired, I knew my head was tired, but I wouldn’t admit my spiritual heart was tired. In fact my heart was more than tired, it had shut down 6 months before my last official ministry moment and  it was running on auto pilot.

A major reason why I found myself in this place was that I was great about scheduling everyone else’s moments with God but sacrificed my own. I wish I would have been more pro-active to take care of my own relationship with God. I wish I would have planned time to refresh.

As you look to the new school year and all events you have building on your calendar and all the relational moments that God is preparing for you, don’t forget to fill in your calendar with moments to refresh your soul.

Below is a list of ideas that might spark a planned moment to re-fresh your heart.

1) Go through the entire school year and mark one day each month (or every 6 weeks) as a personal retreat day. Invite spiritual mentors to give you guidance on what to do with that day and follow their plan! Guard these days- DO EVERYTHING IN YOUR POWER TO NOT RESCHEDULE!

2)Find a bible study, prayer group, or christian book club that is outside of your ministry circle. Allow this to be a place where you sit back and listen more than you lead. The more consistent you can be in this group the better. Do your best to not talk about ministry, all God’s word and people to take root beyond your ministry life.

3) Find two retreats/conferences that you can attend and put them on your calendar. There are often great conferences regionally that will refresh you with new ideas, thoughts and worship.

4) Ask for help. Write an e-mail to a group of trusted friends asking them to pray for you and challenge you spiritually in the next school year. You will be surprised how a bit of vulnerability opens up your spiritual heart.

5) Talk to your Sr. Pastor or supervisor about where your heart is at and your personal desire in coming year.

6)Plan a retreat with your family. Use this time to not only reconnect but seek God together. Listening to your spouse and kids share their spiritual desires or questions  will enlighten you. Don’t feel the burden of “planning” just exercise your natural youth ministry relationship skills with them.

7)After a known intense ministry season, like a weekend retreat, schedule the next two days for refreshing and renewing. Use the first day to catch up on sleep and missed family time and use the second as a day to process the experience. Go to your favorite coffee shop or park and take a journal. Go through the events and the conversations and journal your thoughts and reflections. Don’t forget to pause often and ask God what he wants to teach you instead of our default which it “what do I do now”?

8) Find another Pastor in the area who is outside of your ministry circle to meet with consistently.  Use this time to share your heart and receive sound counsel.